Needs vs. Wants
Growing up I was very aware of what needs were. There were six children in my family and we were well fed and clothed, and had a roof over our heads. We did chores and were given a small allowance (what they could afford) and we were allowed to spend it as we wished. I spent my first 50 cents on chocolate - a want. Anyone who knows me would not be surprised by this. Our parents did try to give us a bit more than they had, but their generation had so little at times that it was not hard to do a little more.
We also tried to teach our children the difference between what they needed and what they wanted. We made sure they knew that our job as parents was to keep them safe, fed, clothed and to provide a roof over their heads. These were their needs and they were always met. I know there were many things they wanted as they grew up, things their friends may have had, but as we all know money only goes so far. Having said that, our children were given more of their wants than our parents were able to give us, but we did not go overboard.
When I look around today, children seem to take for granted that they will get whatever it is they ask their parents for. And many of them are correct - their parents have not learned the art of saying no, or are too tired to say no. And at times I think it is because saying yes is easier - there is no resistance or fight in that. And the more that they hear yes, the harder it becomes to reverse this message. Each yes will create more and more of a fight if they try to say no. Unfortunately a generation of children is growing up not knowing the difference between wants and needs.
I wish that I could send a message to the younger generation that would make them understand the difference. If they could see that having the latest phone, fashions or techy gadgets will not change their life or make them happy. If they were aware that happiness comes from within - from who you are as a person. To show them what their needs are, and that they were being met, then perhaps they would not have so many wants.
At a time in my life when I am not able to run out and purchase whatever I want, I have come back around to a place where the needs have become very clear. The reality is that I have very few needs, and even my wants are not many. Things are not that important when you look at the big picture. What is important? Time with those you love, and doing for others when you can. Everything else is a bonus.
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We also tried to teach our children the difference between what they needed and what they wanted. We made sure they knew that our job as parents was to keep them safe, fed, clothed and to provide a roof over their heads. These were their needs and they were always met. I know there were many things they wanted as they grew up, things their friends may have had, but as we all know money only goes so far. Having said that, our children were given more of their wants than our parents were able to give us, but we did not go overboard.
When I look around today, children seem to take for granted that they will get whatever it is they ask their parents for. And many of them are correct - their parents have not learned the art of saying no, or are too tired to say no. And at times I think it is because saying yes is easier - there is no resistance or fight in that. And the more that they hear yes, the harder it becomes to reverse this message. Each yes will create more and more of a fight if they try to say no. Unfortunately a generation of children is growing up not knowing the difference between wants and needs.
I wish that I could send a message to the younger generation that would make them understand the difference. If they could see that having the latest phone, fashions or techy gadgets will not change their life or make them happy. If they were aware that happiness comes from within - from who you are as a person. To show them what their needs are, and that they were being met, then perhaps they would not have so many wants.
At a time in my life when I am not able to run out and purchase whatever I want, I have come back around to a place where the needs have become very clear. The reality is that I have very few needs, and even my wants are not many. Things are not that important when you look at the big picture. What is important? Time with those you love, and doing for others when you can. Everything else is a bonus.
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