Why Do They Last?

We all know couples who have been together for decades. Sometimes it is obvious why these relationships have lasted, and other times not so much. There are couples we can look at and see immediately they were meant for each other, but one must wonder about the ones that do not fall into this category.

When couples are asked how they have managed to remain together for so long, there are many ways that question is answered. A few common responses are:

1. They are not only partners, but best friends.
2. They tell one another they love each other every day.
3. They allow their partner the time and space for hobbies, friendships, and time alone.
4. They discuss differences and never go to bed angry.
5. They make time for "date" night.
6. They still hold hands.
7. They work together as a team to make the relationship work.

All of these are particularly good parameters to live by, but there are most likely very many other reasons that these relationships survive for decades.

I recently read something from a man who had been celebrating his 40th wedding anniversary. He and his wife went out to dinner and were asked by their server what the secret was to their long-lasting relationship. He stated that at the time he was sure he gave a simple response, but later took some time to think about what did make their relationship so strong. Looking back, he realized that it was not so much what he did, but what his wife did that made all the difference. In all the years they had been together, no matter what kind of day she had, or even if he had done something she may be upset with, she always smiled and seemed genuinely happy to see him when he arrived home.

This statement really struck a chord with me, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. If true, this certainly took a lot of dedication to him and their relationship. How many of us can say that we have approached our relationship in this manner? It is certainly no easy task to greet someone with a smile every single day when they come home, especially when we have had a difficult day. However, imagine the impact this one gesture would have. Not only would it brighten their day and bring a smile to their face, but it would change the dynamics of the relationship. One thing, done consistently, that in the end can bring a couple closer together.

I imagine that most of us feel our relationships are important and want them to last, but some days we do not necessarily give that little bit extra that can make a difference. Smiling every time our partner comes home is a habit that would take a lot of practice, and we probably would not consistently do it every day, but it is worth the effort. After all, we truly do want to feel good about ourselves, our partner, and our relationship so we can share many more years to come.

And it can all start with a smile.