Redux - What Motherhood Means to Me

I was very fortunate to spend time with my mother yesterday.  Unfortunately, it's a rare occasion to have this opportunity due to the "virus". Truly not the same wearing a mask and not being able to give her a hug, but I will take even these types of visits over nothing.

Today I will not be able to see my daughters and grandchildren which will be very difficult. It has been so long since I have seen them and my heart longs to hold them all close to me. All of this has me thinking of motherhood and what it means to me, so I decided to share a previous blog on this topic.

As I sit here on Mother's Day, I find myself thinking about my two daughters and how proud I am of the amazing women and mothers they have become. They have had their struggles, some I am aware of and many I'm sure I am not, but they have persevered and emerged stronger and wiser. Just as I did as I found my way on the road of motherhood. As we all know it's not an easy road to maneuver at times; there will be great joy and some heartache along the way. Looking back there are many things that come to mind, and some that have stayed with me are:
  • When I was carrying my children and heard their heartbeat for the first time.
  • The day they were born; both the pain of childbirth and how I forgot that pain the minute I held them in my arms.
  • The feeling of overwhelming love for my child, and fear of having to care for them and protect them. How could I do all of this?
  • Sleepless nights caring for a colicky baby, yet cherishing the feeling of holding and comforting them.
  • The first time they said Momma or Dada.
  • Watching them take their first steps, and then learning to run.
  • My amazement at how quickly they learned new things.
  • The first day of kindergarten when I put on a brave face even though I was filled with terror at the world they were entering. They were so excited I didn't want them to feel my fear.
  • The first time they said "I hate you", which seemed devastating at that moment. You soon toughen up to that one because you know deep down they don't really meant it.
  • The pride I felt with every new thing they tried and excelled at, and the pain I felt with them when they didn't do so well.
  • The tears I hid from them when they had been mistreated by someone; telling them that the other person must be very unhappy to treat others that way.
  • Reluctantly taking them to their first dance, sure they were not ready for this social milestone.
  • Crying with them when they had their heart broken for the first time (and any other broken heart along the way). A mother's heart breaks right along with them.
  • The joy of watching them whether it be in sports, school plays, Odyssey of the Mind competitions, etc.
  • Laughing with them and their friends - so happy to be a part of their lives.
  • Always hoping they will have a good life filled with love.
  • Watching them become mothers and go through the same emotions that I have; always telling them to remember where they came from. They are tough and will make it through just as I have through their life's ups and downs.
There isn't one moment of being a mother that I would give up. I feel blessed to have my daughters who I also consider my friends. It has been an amazing ride so far, and I look forward to what the future holds for all of us. I hope they know how much they are loved, and that I am here for them no matter what life brings.

 Happy Mother's Day!!



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