Making Time for Yourself (Nurturing the Nurturer)

It is not in my nature to put myself first, and I know there are many others like me. We try to make sure that everyone else in our life is taken care of and their needs are met. There are two reasons for this: we enjoy doing for others as it makes us feel good, and it is rewarding when we see them happy. Of course my sister would say there is a third reason; our purpose in life is to help others.

When our children are young our role is to take care of them. We plan, organize and prepare for whatever arises each day, nurturing them as they grow into young adults. As our children leave the nest we tend to transfer these actions to others in our life. The need to nurture so strong that we cannot stop searching for ways to help family and friends.

Unfortunately, when we spend so much time taking care of others, we sometimes forget we need to nurture ourselves. It’s almost as if we feel guilty for indulging in something we enjoy or taking time just to unwind, because by doing so we are taking from those around us. In the process we become exhausted and perhaps a bit resentful. And we have no one to blame for this but ourselves.

With aging I have become a bit wiser, but do need to heed my own advice. I am very good at telling others they need down time. Time to do what they find enjoyable or to do nothing at all, so they can recharge the spirit and gain renewed strength. If they do then they will restore themselves to who they need to be. The one who is there to nurture and help the people in their life.

Even though there are times I wish I could more easily focus on my own needs, in the end I wouldn’t change a thing. The joy I receive from doing for others is a gift that lifts my spirits, and makes my soul smile.