The Breakdown of the Family Unit
As I get older I have become more aware of what effect the breakdown of the family unit has on our children, and society as a whole. Divorce, a more mobile society, and the struggle to make a living all have had an impact. Hard to keep a solid family bond with all of these changes.
Forty plus years ago family members were more likely to remain in the communities they grew up in which kept them connected. Divorce was on the rise, but still not at the level of today, and the economy was good enough so people did not work 6-7 days a week.
I am divorced and the one thing I do regret is the break-up of the family unit. Even if the divorce is not ugly, children are impacted in some way. Their sense of security and self-esteem all take a hit, and they may look to others to fill these needs. They may get the attention they need from others, but it is not the same as the deep feeling of belonging that family gives.
The ability to move so easily from one part of the country to another has also taken people far from their family. Sometimes it is a desire to see and try something new or it may be relocation due to work. When we put great distances between us it is hard to maintain the family connection. We may feel that we do not need it, but the truth is in time we feel disconnected. If we have children they lose out on building bonds with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
The current economy has put a strain on the family in two ways. First - parents are spending more time away from their children in order to provide for them. Second - when they are home they are tired and the time spent is not as nurturing as they would like. Children can feel ignored or not important which again will push them to others.
There is no easy solution to much of this, but I do know that with a strong sense of family and belonging to a community we all thrive. Family bonds make us feel safe and secure. Being part of our community makes us all feel connected and responsible for our surroundings. As difficult as it may be these days, we need to make the effort to give our children and ourselves the family connections that will make our communities and our country stronger. I know things will never be as they were many years ago, but we will all be winners if we at least try.
Forty plus years ago family members were more likely to remain in the communities they grew up in which kept them connected. Divorce was on the rise, but still not at the level of today, and the economy was good enough so people did not work 6-7 days a week.
I am divorced and the one thing I do regret is the break-up of the family unit. Even if the divorce is not ugly, children are impacted in some way. Their sense of security and self-esteem all take a hit, and they may look to others to fill these needs. They may get the attention they need from others, but it is not the same as the deep feeling of belonging that family gives.
The ability to move so easily from one part of the country to another has also taken people far from their family. Sometimes it is a desire to see and try something new or it may be relocation due to work. When we put great distances between us it is hard to maintain the family connection. We may feel that we do not need it, but the truth is in time we feel disconnected. If we have children they lose out on building bonds with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
The current economy has put a strain on the family in two ways. First - parents are spending more time away from their children in order to provide for them. Second - when they are home they are tired and the time spent is not as nurturing as they would like. Children can feel ignored or not important which again will push them to others.
There is no easy solution to much of this, but I do know that with a strong sense of family and belonging to a community we all thrive. Family bonds make us feel safe and secure. Being part of our community makes us all feel connected and responsible for our surroundings. As difficult as it may be these days, we need to make the effort to give our children and ourselves the family connections that will make our communities and our country stronger. I know things will never be as they were many years ago, but we will all be winners if we at least try.
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