Give and Take

Relationships – at best they are difficult. It’s not easy ensuring that two parties feel valued and that they are heard when they speak. We too often can’t open our minds to listen to one another when all we can hear is our own voice saying “it’s not fair”, “I don’t agree with you”, or “listen to me”.

We all like to have our own way, but also know that it’s not possible all the time unless we choose to live alone. In a perfect world things would go our way, and our partner would always do whatever we wished.  Not going to happen! As I have always told my children, there is no such thing as perfect.

Sharing your life with someone takes a lot of hard work and compromise. Many times we feel like we’re the only one compromising, but the reality is both parties do. Circumstances in our lives make a difference in how much we are willing to, or can compromise. When faced with difficulties we are less open to hearing another point of view, or willing to go along with something that doesn’t fit in with our plans.

In a relationship there is a lot of give and take. The key is to make sure that there is balance for each of you in this give and take. There will be times when you are giving more, but if you really look at it, there have been times when you were taking more. It all depends on the needs of each person at any given moment. And the truth is we will sometimes have to give when it is going to be the most difficult thing to do. When we look back at the situation we will realize it was worth it, as our sacrifice at that moment may have been the thing that formed a stronger bond with our partner.

If we consistently try to make the effort to treat each other with kindness and respect, then the give and take, or compromise, will not be such a difficult thing to do. For what we find in doing so is that when we give to our partner, we are truly giving something more valuable to ourselves.

Make the effort and stop keeping score – the rewards are worth it.