Fear of Being Alone
After living more than 50 years I have discovered that we need to become better at being alone. I am not saying we should be lonely, but we should like ourselves enough to enjoy being with "us".
When I went through a divorce I ended up living by myself for almost four years. At first it was difficult as I had not been alone in many years, but as time passed it became very natural to be alone. A friend once said to me "isn't it lonely?" I responded by telling them that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Of course you get lonely sometimes, but having someone on the couch next to you just to have someone there is just as lonely in the end. And usually those we quickly put on that couch next to us are not people who truly enhance our lives. They tend to be those who also do not want to be alone, and take away from who we are both emotionally and financially.
What I did find in this transition is that I'm okay, that I like the person I am and enjoy spending time with me. Once you adjust it becomes nice to be by yourself and get to know who you are and what you want out of life . You can do, or not do, what you want. If you want chips and Swiss rolls for dinner you can have that. You can either clean your space or just let it go. You can get in your car and go do whatever you feel like doing.
Once you have learned to be alone, you can then be open and ready to let someone positive into your life. You have so much to offer when you know who you are. You also will choose wisely and know that the person on that couch next to you is there to enhance your life - not take away from it. So take some time and get to know who you are - you will be glad you did.
When I went through a divorce I ended up living by myself for almost four years. At first it was difficult as I had not been alone in many years, but as time passed it became very natural to be alone. A friend once said to me "isn't it lonely?" I responded by telling them that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Of course you get lonely sometimes, but having someone on the couch next to you just to have someone there is just as lonely in the end. And usually those we quickly put on that couch next to us are not people who truly enhance our lives. They tend to be those who also do not want to be alone, and take away from who we are both emotionally and financially.
What I did find in this transition is that I'm okay, that I like the person I am and enjoy spending time with me. Once you adjust it becomes nice to be by yourself and get to know who you are and what you want out of life . You can do, or not do, what you want. If you want chips and Swiss rolls for dinner you can have that. You can either clean your space or just let it go. You can get in your car and go do whatever you feel like doing.
Once you have learned to be alone, you can then be open and ready to let someone positive into your life. You have so much to offer when you know who you are. You also will choose wisely and know that the person on that couch next to you is there to enhance your life - not take away from it. So take some time and get to know who you are - you will be glad you did.
Comments
Post a Comment