Trying to Understand ADHD
This blog was one of my early ones from 2012, and it struck a nerve with many who are dealing with ADD and ADHD on a daily basis. I am choosing to post it once again after coming across a documentary on PBS called ADD and Loving It!? It was presented with humor and made it clear what it is like to have ADD with the help of the narrator, who is a comedian with the disorder. I have added the link to this documentary at the end. I hope that those dealing with ADD find it useful and enjoy the humorous approach. Once again - Trying to Understand ADHD:
ADHD brings up many emotions in varying ways depending on if you are a parent, grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, teacher, coach or just a bystander. It is very hard to understand if you have not seen or lived with ADHD and its effects firsthand. Unfortunately most look at it from the viewpoint of how it effects the people around the child with ADHD. Hard not to do this when the actions have an impact on your surroundings.
The schools cannot have them disrupting the class so they want them medicated to keep their movements and emotions in check. That is all well and good, but these medications have side effects that they do not see. They do not see them as the meds wear off after they are home. The parents are left to deal with a child who is anxious, angry, tired and not in control of their emotions. A child they have to get through an evening of homework, dinner, baths and then bed. That is if you can get them to go to sleep at night. Then they have to get up and start the whole process over again. Not fun for the child or the parent, and it makes it hard to just enjoy being a family.
As the grandmother to a child with ADHD I have decided I need to try and look at things through his eyes. Not easy at times, but it is necessary if you want to understand and try to work through things with them. I have tried to imagine how it must feel when your body feels the need to move all the time and your mind races. How it feels to be spoken to negatively so often because you cannot sit still or focus. The impact on self-esteem is devastating, and the lack of more positive reinforcement must be heartbreaking to a child. I know that without medication he is a happy child - you can see the difference. It is exhausting by the end of the day, but he is happier.
I know there has to be a better answer than the medications they are prescribing for these children. Unfortunately for most families they cannot afford alternative programs that would teach their child better ways to deal with these feelings. Programs that deal more on a one to one level to guide the excess energy in a positive direction. With this guidance they would soar and their self esteem would rise to levels they have never before felt. What a wonderful outcome for everyone involved.
As a grandmother I pray for my daughter and my grandson and hope that they will find the right path for all. One that will make for a peaceful, happy family environment for my daughter. One that will make my grandson feel happy and in control of his life without the negative effects of medication. This I pray for every day and hope the answers will come - they both deserve this.
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/add_loving_it
ADHD brings up many emotions in varying ways depending on if you are a parent, grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, teacher, coach or just a bystander. It is very hard to understand if you have not seen or lived with ADHD and its effects firsthand. Unfortunately most look at it from the viewpoint of how it effects the people around the child with ADHD. Hard not to do this when the actions have an impact on your surroundings.
The schools cannot have them disrupting the class so they want them medicated to keep their movements and emotions in check. That is all well and good, but these medications have side effects that they do not see. They do not see them as the meds wear off after they are home. The parents are left to deal with a child who is anxious, angry, tired and not in control of their emotions. A child they have to get through an evening of homework, dinner, baths and then bed. That is if you can get them to go to sleep at night. Then they have to get up and start the whole process over again. Not fun for the child or the parent, and it makes it hard to just enjoy being a family.
As the grandmother to a child with ADHD I have decided I need to try and look at things through his eyes. Not easy at times, but it is necessary if you want to understand and try to work through things with them. I have tried to imagine how it must feel when your body feels the need to move all the time and your mind races. How it feels to be spoken to negatively so often because you cannot sit still or focus. The impact on self-esteem is devastating, and the lack of more positive reinforcement must be heartbreaking to a child. I know that without medication he is a happy child - you can see the difference. It is exhausting by the end of the day, but he is happier.
I know there has to be a better answer than the medications they are prescribing for these children. Unfortunately for most families they cannot afford alternative programs that would teach their child better ways to deal with these feelings. Programs that deal more on a one to one level to guide the excess energy in a positive direction. With this guidance they would soar and their self esteem would rise to levels they have never before felt. What a wonderful outcome for everyone involved.
As a grandmother I pray for my daughter and my grandson and hope that they will find the right path for all. One that will make for a peaceful, happy family environment for my daughter. One that will make my grandson feel happy and in control of his life without the negative effects of medication. This I pray for every day and hope the answers will come - they both deserve this.
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/add_loving_it
I am a father of an 8 year old that has been diagnosis about 3-4 years ago with ADHD and has close to Autistic symptoms. My wife is an elementary school teacher and a specialist in the field of children with disabilities. Her knowledge is much greater than mine in understanding this disorder. My son is medicated for what you describe here - Keep focused in School. I never believed that the medicine was the best idea and we did wait 2 years before my wife broke me down. Now my son has been on the medication for 1 1/2 years. The evenings in which I would like to spend quality time with my son turn into a all out battle. Many time leads to some intense fights with my wife and to make matters worse there are other children effected. My wife has 2 daughters through a previous marriage and I have a daughter that is also at our house a few days per week from another relationship. My oldest Step-Daughter is in college and is only home some of the time. Our relationship is pretty good. My other Step-Daughter and I often argue.
ReplyDeleteSorry off topic, perhaps we know where my son gets it from - My belief that medication will inhibit his ability to understand during the times when the medicine dosage runs low or if the medicine is not given. I further believe the effect from the medicine will not give him the ability to think, live, and feel as a child and I do not want to think about the Long Term effect. Will he be able to function in the proper manner as an adult. I feel the ability I have as a father is limited with the medication and not to be selfish, but this is taken away from me. If my wife and I have to spend our evening fighting this each night as well as each other, I do not know how to move forward...
Ron,
DeleteMy heart goes out to you as you struggle with the right thing to do for your son. It is not easy to balance the school's expectations with what you know and feel is right for your child. I truly feel that the medications rob them of being a normal child, and at some point we will learn the long term effects of these drugs. At that point it will be too late for some of these children.
As I said, I watch my daughter go through these same struggles with my grandson. I pray each day she will find her way for him, and hope that you will also.
Lady on the Lake