Welcome to the Club

This blog from 2021 is worth repeating...

Welcome to the caregiver club! No application or membership fee required, and the rules are slightly different for everyone. The only thing we can guarantee is life as you know it changes forever.

Although this is not a club anyone expects to be a part of, many will be at some point in their life. As our population ages, more caregiving is being provided by people who are not health care professionals. A caregiver is anyone who provides help to another person in need, such as an ill spouse or partner, a disabled child, or an aging relative. Caring for a loved one can strain even the most resilient people. If they are working outside the home the caregiving role becomes even more difficult.

In our role as a caregiver, we want to be there to ensure our loved ones receive the personal care that only we can provide. We know them better than anyone else and will make sure that they are comfortable and have what they need. We have their best interests at heart.

Caregiving does have many rewards; most importantly being able to be there when a loved one needs us most. However, it does not come without emotional and physical stress for the caregiver. With our attention focused on our loved one, we may not realize when our own health may be suffering.

It can be difficult for caregivers to ask for any assistance. Some of the reasons for this reluctance include:

• Not wanting to admit how much they do.
• They do not want to ask too much of others.
• Fear of being “one of those people” who always complain.
• They do not want to appear weak – unable to do it all on their own.
• Being afraid to admit when they are overwhelmed – do not want anyone to see them break down or cry.

Caregivers need to watch for signs of stressors which include feeling tired, overwhelmed, or worried; or feeling isolated and depressed. As much as we want to care for our loved ones, we may find ourselves getting irritated or angry over small things. The last thing we want to do is to become angry with them over something out of their control. Time spent with them is too precious to waste on anger.

As family members and friends of caregivers there are things we can do to help:

• Do not ask “what can I do to help?” Instead offer to do something for them.
• If we know that they like something as a treat, just surprise them and drop it off.
• Bring a meal that is ready to heat and serve.
• Offer to give them some time off.
• Stop for a brief visit to take their mind off normal routine.
• If we are going grocery shopping, see if there is anything they need.
• Call…even if they may not think they want to talk, that one call may be exactly what they need.

To try and manage their stress caregivers need to:

• Accept help.
• Set realistic goals (do not be afraid to say no).
• Seek social support.
• Set personal health goals.
• Get connected to community resources.

And most of all…give yourself a break; you are only human after all.