Loss

One thing is certain in life – eventually we all run out of time. This truth is much clearer with each passing year. That feeling of invincibility from our youth fades ever so slightly with each decade.

Nothing can bring us face-to-face with our own mortality more than the loss of a loved one or dear friend. Even if we are aware that their time with us is slipping away, we are never prepared. As they leave behind all that binds them to the earth, our hearts feel like they have been crushed by a heavy weight.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone that is important to us. Processing a loss is different for each person, and grief is never experienced in the same manner. While some can allow themselves to feel their grief and release it, others hold it in and keep it hidden from the world.

Losing someone is difficult at any time in our lives but can be even more heartbreaking and traumatic if we are facing difficult times. Our ability to accept loss when life is good is never easy and can be almost unbearable when we are faced with our own troubled times. This past year during the pandemic losses have felt heart crushing without the ability to celebrate their lives and share grief at services.

We all leave an imprint on the world we leave behind. Those we have lost impacted our lives and left behind memories and lessons for us to learn from. The mark they leave on our soul, even if it fades ever so slightly over time, remains for the rest of our life.

Everyone grieves differently. But if we understand our emotions, take care of ourselves, and seek the support of others, we can heal. With that, I will leave you with a poem which spoke to my soul and I hope may bring you healing and peace when you need it someday.

Epitaph

~Merrit Malloy~

When I die

Give what’s left of me away

To children

And old men that wait to die.

 

And if you need to cry,

Cry for your brother

Walking the street beside you.

And when you need me,

Put your arms

Around anyone

And give them

What you need to give to me.

 

I want to leave you something,

Something better

Than words

Or sounds.

 

Look for me

In the people I’ve known

Or loved,

And if you cannot give me away,

At least let me live on in your eyes

And not on your mind.

 

You can love me most

By letting

Hands touch hands,

By letting

Bodies touch bodies,

And by letting go

Of children

That need to be free.

 

Love doesn’t die,

People do.

So, when all that’s left of me

Is love,

Give me away.