Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

There are many different professional people who come in and out of our lives over the years. Some remain for a very long time, and others seem to just be passing through. Their time with us is dependent on many factors, including how close a connection we make.

There are the “acquaintance” connections such as the dry cleaner, auto mechanic, mail person, librarian; the ones you see occasionally. They are casual and friendly relationships in our lives. As much as we may enjoy seeing them, the conversations are usually kept light, and if they move on we more easily accept their replacement.

Then there are the more deeply connected relationships. These people include those who watch our children, our hairdresser, doctors, dentists, etc. They play a more significant role in our lives and we entrust them with some very personal details that we would not share with an acquaintance. Once we make a deep connection, it is difficult to imagine having to replace them.

We trust our childcare provider with our most precious possession, and count on our doctor or dentist to ensure we are in good health. To find ourselves in a position to replace one of them is something we hope not to face, but we all know things change over the years, and the time will come that any one of them may retire or leave the area. This change that is thrust upon us can make us uneasy, and we may have trouble finding the right person that will fit into our lives. Eventually we will, and in time will build a connection and comfort level with them.

However, if we reach the point where we feel the need to “fire” one of our close non-family professional connections that we have spent years building a relationship with, we will find it difficult and uncomfortable. It may not be that they are doing a bad job, but what they are doing does not work for us anymore, and in reality, may not be working for them either.

As a woman, I know one of the most difficult people to fire is our hairstylist. A day arrives when we leave the salon after an appointment and we are not unhappy, but not thrilled either. It feels like they have gotten too comfortable doing what they have always done and cannot see us any other way. I equate it to breaking up with a boyfriend who you do not dislike, but do not really like “that way” anymore.

With any luck, we will be fortunate enough to keep our circle of close professional connections for many years. Breaking up is hard to do.