Reflecting on 64 Years

Another year has passed by in a flash. As I struggle between accepting my age and being in denial, I look back on all that has transpired in my 64 years. I am realistic about the fact that I'm not twenty-something any longer; I'm not even forty-something at this point.

Not that I still don't like to receive attention, we all like to be admired from time to time. It makes us feel good. Even if the occasion arises where I can turn the head of a man as he walks by, it will no longer be a young man, but one much more mature. The days of young men turning and admiring have passed, and are left for the younger women. A favorite aunt of mine once said to me that she had her day in the sun; now it was the younger women's turn. I always felt it was an admirable way to accept the passing of time.

My life is blessed with two amazing daughters who have given me three grandchildren, and they all  fill my life with joy. I am lucky to still have my mother, and five siblings that I cherish. My love for all of them cannot be adequately described.

I have the privilege of sharing my life with a wonderful man. He is good natured and kind hearted, and I know that I can count on him; he is the friend I turn to for advice. He asked me once if I was happy and I told him yes; but even on the days that I'm not entirely happy, there is nobody I'd rather be unhappy with. 

Over the years there have been great friends who have entered my life. Some of them I have known for literally a lifetime, and others that arrived throughout my adult life. They have been with me through good and bad times. All of them are a gift, and I am fortunate to know them.

As I reminisce about younger days, memories flood me with emotions from days gone by. All the firsts in my life; scraped knees, sliding down a snow-covered hill, beginning school, junior high dances, falling in love, first kiss, broken heart, striking out on my own and so many others; too many to mention. So many of the firsts bring fond memories, and others may still bring a bit of heartache; each one had its purpose in my life.

Even though the work for women's rights is not complete, the advancements made in my lifetime have made my life better and ensure that my daughters and granddaughters are unaware of what women before them endured. I am hopeful that there will come a time that the inequalities will be nothing but a footnote of the past.

I have witnessed tragic events over the years; some I didn't truly understand due to my youth, and others that broke my heart because I did. The assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963 was one that I couldn't totally comprehend as I was only a young child. They sent us home from school, our teachers and mothers were crying, and I knew it was a tragedy for our country; one that I wouldn't fully understand until I was older. The Oklahoma City bombing on April 19, 1995 - I clearly remember that day; remember standing in front of my television in horror with tears running down my face. Asking myself "how could one of our own citizens do this?" And then the 911 attack on our country in 2001; I stood in shock and disbelief as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing. My heart breaking and my mind unable to process how this could happen.

Dreams - yes, I have had many dreams in my lifetime. Some of them realistic, and others far-fetched. Who didn't want to be a rock star as a teenager? I have been fortunate enough to achieve my dream of writing and publishing children's books with my grandchildren as the leading characters; experienced the joy of traveling to some of the destinations on my wish list, and hope to see many more. Even at this age I still have a long list of dreams. Some may never come to fruition, but it's good for the soul to keep dreaming.

There were many choices made in my life. I may wish at times that a few of the choices had been different, but even the ones made in haste and not thoroughly thought through made for good life lessons. In turn these lessons made me wiser.

Do I have any regrets? Of course; anyone who says they have none is not being honest with themselves. Fortunately, I have only a few that can be counted on one hand. Even these played a role in who I am today, and the path my life has taken.

Looking back over these 64 years, I can honestly say I wouldn't change anything. It's been a great ride so far, and I look forward to what life will present to me in the future.