Nobody Ever Said Life Would Be Easy - Redux

This blog was orginally posted in 2012. Since that time, I can see by observing parents and children on a daily basis, that things have not improved and may even be worse. When trying to put things in perspective, I do believe that most parents are trying to do the right thing by their children. However, the stresses of trying to stay on top of work, bills, healthy activities for our children and everyday chores, sometimes it may be easier to give in to our children rather than fight against them. Unfortunately in the end that is exactly what makes parenting even more difficult. What they learn is that if they push hard enough they will always get their way - not a good lesson for them. Life will not be that way as they mature into adults and then what will they do?

So...once again:

Lately I am having a hard time trying to comprehend where so many young people got the impression that life would be easy. That growing up, being an adult, working and raising children would go along like a smooth running river. At best it is more like a river that has smooth days, but one that also rages from time to time and puts life in turmoil. I know that growing up I was never led to believe it would always be smooth sailing.

Did we as parents make life too easy for them growing up? Did we neglect to make them want instead of getting all the time? Did we lead them to believe that they would always succeed and never fail? We know if you never fail, you never learn how to pick yourself up from that failure and move forward. If you can do that you will have many successes in life. We also know that if you want something bad enough you will work hard to obtain it.

I am not saying that we should make our children's lives so difficult that there is no joy. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to give them things as long as we don't give them everything they ask for. If we give them too much, then by the time they reach adulthood they have only learned that they will get everything they want without working for it.

Maybe I am just getting older, but I am beginning to see that the best thing we can give them is our time. With this time we can teach them that with hard work comes success. That wanting is sometimes better than having, and that you can't always have it all. Show them that their parents have worked a lifetime for the things they have. That we raised our children and it was certainly not always easy. We went without sleep, we worried, we were overjoyed at times and other times not so much. As I have always said our children are our greatest joy, but can also be our biggest heartache.

We never stop worrying about our children, but we also need to learn when to let go and let them take care of things on their own.  Let them learn from their mistakes and find the way to pick up the pieces to move forward. We can listen, but we cannot always fix, and that may be the hardest thing of all.

We need to give them our time and our knowledge from years of experience. Hoping that they in turn will do the same with their children. There is no better gift in life.