Having the Difficult Conversations
When we are young the thought never crosses our mind that we won't be around some day. Because we are young we believe we will be around forever, or at least that we have a very long time before anything happens to us. Even when we are in our 50's and 60's, as long as we feel good physically, we still tend to believe we have years and years ahead of us. In reality, we never know what is in store for us at any age. However, if we accept this and openly admit it, then we come face to face with our own mortality. Many people are not comfortable with this.
The truth is we all need to have the hard end of life discussions no matter how uncomfortable it can make us or the ones we love. Not to do so can put those left behind in a very difficult position, or even worse, at odds with one another over what each one feels your wishes would have been. I have seen how this can tear a family apart and cause damage to relationships that lasts for years,
Even young adults who have yet to start a family or acquire homes, need to have some discussion with their parents as to what their wishes are should the unexpected happen. Certainly those with spouses, children, grandchildren, or any family members, need to make decisions and have things in order for when it is needed. Some things to consider and prepare:
The truth is we all need to have the hard end of life discussions no matter how uncomfortable it can make us or the ones we love. Not to do so can put those left behind in a very difficult position, or even worse, at odds with one another over what each one feels your wishes would have been. I have seen how this can tear a family apart and cause damage to relationships that lasts for years,
Even young adults who have yet to start a family or acquire homes, need to have some discussion with their parents as to what their wishes are should the unexpected happen. Certainly those with spouses, children, grandchildren, or any family members, need to make decisions and have things in order for when it is needed. Some things to consider and prepare:
- Last Will and Testament: Name your executor and beneficiaries, and make any bequests. Don't leave your family to struggle with decisions regarding what you have left behind.
- Durable Power of Attorney - Appoint someone to handle financial and legal decisions if you cannot.
- Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care: Appoint someone to make medical decisions if you are unable to do so.
- Living Will (or Advance Directive): Allows you to state your wishes for end of life care.
- Final Arrangements: Do you want to be buried or cremated, and what type of service do you want?
Put together a notebook with your information for:
- Life Insurance Policies
- Retirement Funds
- Checking and Savings
- Stocks/Bonds
- Credit Cards
- Homeowner and Auto Insurance Policies
- Auto Registration/Title
Make sure that whoever you choose for an executor, or agent for your powers of attorney, are ready to accept the responsibility. Not everyone is willing to take this on.
Once you have prepared all your legal documents, and put together the information your executor will need, take the time to sit down and review everything with them. They will need to know where all of your documents are kept.
And make sure that you inform your family of your wishes and who will make decisions when you can't. They should not be surprised by a decision that is made for you.
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