Teach Them to Take Care of Themselves and We All Win
There is too much immediate gratification for children today. Whether it be television, the Internet or their parents, many children don't have to wait for anything. In our effort to ensure our children have what they want and do what they want, we neglect to realize we are not teaching them how to take care of themselves. We are also not teaching them that you have to work for what you want in life, and sometimes you have to fail to succeed.
Even in school sports the rules are changing. I recently heard that in some schools they are looking at passing a new rule that anyone who tries out for a sport gets to be on the team. I feel that all they would learn from this is that they don't have to work hard to make the team. There are many children who work extremely hard to become a better player so they can make the team. What message are we giving these kids - that they are wasting their time working hard?
Social media can be a wonderful thing, however if that is the majority of how they communicate and perceive society then they are missing out on a key element - face to face communication. If you cannot look someone in the eye and have a conversation then our society loses out on an essential part of being a community and that is human contact. You cannot feel part of a community if you don't interact in person. They need to know that their contribution to a community is indispensable.
Our effort to ensure that children always feel like number one or a winner no matter what they do is not teaching them a very valuable lesson, which is how to fail. If they do not learn how to fail, they will never learn how to pick themselves up and succeed. I was listening to an interview with Spanx inventor Sara Blakely recently, and this is what she learned from her father:
"When Sara Blakely was growing up, her father would often ask her the same question at dinnertime. "What have you failed at this week?" Blakely recalled in an interview on CNBC's "Squawk Box". "My dad growing up encouraged me and my brother to fail. The gift he was giving me is that failure is (when you are) not trying versus the outcome. It's really allowed me to be much freer in trying things and spreading my wings in life."
What a wonderful message he gave his children - that failure is not trying. It doesn't matter if you succeed every time; what matters is that you tried.
We can do a great service to our children if we ensure they can take care of themselves. Teach them basic cooking skills and how to make a menu and shop for it. Show them how to budget and save, and how to use a checkbook (online banking after they know this). If they can do these basic things they will be better prepared for life on their own.
If they learn to work hard, and take the failures along with the successes, then they will not only feel the satisfaction of doing something well, but will also have pride and respect in who they become. Our greatest commitment to our children should be to teach them to take care of themselves. If we do this then we all win.
Even in school sports the rules are changing. I recently heard that in some schools they are looking at passing a new rule that anyone who tries out for a sport gets to be on the team. I feel that all they would learn from this is that they don't have to work hard to make the team. There are many children who work extremely hard to become a better player so they can make the team. What message are we giving these kids - that they are wasting their time working hard?
Social media can be a wonderful thing, however if that is the majority of how they communicate and perceive society then they are missing out on a key element - face to face communication. If you cannot look someone in the eye and have a conversation then our society loses out on an essential part of being a community and that is human contact. You cannot feel part of a community if you don't interact in person. They need to know that their contribution to a community is indispensable.
Our effort to ensure that children always feel like number one or a winner no matter what they do is not teaching them a very valuable lesson, which is how to fail. If they do not learn how to fail, they will never learn how to pick themselves up and succeed. I was listening to an interview with Spanx inventor Sara Blakely recently, and this is what she learned from her father:
"When Sara Blakely was growing up, her father would often ask her the same question at dinnertime. "What have you failed at this week?" Blakely recalled in an interview on CNBC's "Squawk Box". "My dad growing up encouraged me and my brother to fail. The gift he was giving me is that failure is (when you are) not trying versus the outcome. It's really allowed me to be much freer in trying things and spreading my wings in life."
What a wonderful message he gave his children - that failure is not trying. It doesn't matter if you succeed every time; what matters is that you tried.
We can do a great service to our children if we ensure they can take care of themselves. Teach them basic cooking skills and how to make a menu and shop for it. Show them how to budget and save, and how to use a checkbook (online banking after they know this). If they can do these basic things they will be better prepared for life on their own.
If they learn to work hard, and take the failures along with the successes, then they will not only feel the satisfaction of doing something well, but will also have pride and respect in who they become. Our greatest commitment to our children should be to teach them to take care of themselves. If we do this then we all win.
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