Nurturing the Nurturer

We recently returned from a nice relaxing vacation in Florida. The kind of vacation that allows you to forget about everyday responsibility and routine. I am grateful for this, since he decided to play softball on the last day and ended up rupturing his Achilles tendon. Let's just say it's been a very long couple of weeks since our return. First the ER, then the Orthopedic evaluation, surgery and now the long healing process. Being the "nurse", and trying to make sure he doe as he should, makes for some very long days for me as I do what needs to be done. I am already exhausted and that wonderful vacation seems so long ago.

So...I am trying to remember that I need to take care of myself if I am going to take care of him, which prompted me to repeat this blog from two years ago. Remember - take care of yourself if you want to be any good to those in your life. Here is a reminder for myself and others:

It is not in my nature to put myself first, and I know there are many others like me. We try to make sure that everyone else in our life is taken care of and their needs are met. There are two reasons for this: we enjoy doing for others as it makes us feel good, and it is rewarding when we see them happy. Of course my sister would say there is a third reason; our purpose in life is to help others.
When our children are young our role is to take care of them. We plan, organize and prepare for whatever arises each day, nurturing them as they grow into young adults. As our children leave the nest we tend to transfer these actions to others in our life. The need to nurture so strong that we cannot stop searching for ways to help family and friends.

Unfortunately, when we spend so much time taking care of others, we sometimes forget we need to nurture ourselves. It’s almost as if we feel guilty for indulging in something we enjoy or taking time just to unwind, because by doing so we are taking from those around us. In the process we become exhausted and perhaps a bit resentful. And we have no one to blame for this but ourselves.
With aging I have become a bit wiser, but do need to heed my own advice. I am very good at telling others they need down time. Time to do what they find enjoyable or to do nothing at all, so they can recharge the spirit and gain renewed strength. If they do then they will restore themselves to who they need to be. The one who is there to nurture and help the people in their life.
Even though there are times I wish I could more easily focus on my own needs, in the end I wouldn’t change a thing. The joy I receive from doing for others is a gift that lifts my spirits, and makes my soul smile.



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